12 Tips Before You File for Divorce


Before filing for a divorce you should set some goals as to how you want your case to be resolved and what outcome you desire. Take a look at all your options when choosing how you file, whether or not you will need an attorney and whether or not you will try mediation. Once you know where you want to end up, it will be easier to choose your course of action.

If you decide to go without an attorney and represent yourself, make sure you have the resources to do it correctly. You might consider an initial consultation with a lawyer to review your case. Hiring an attorney by the hour to consult during the initial stages of your divorce will be less expensive than full representation for the entire divorce. If you cannot afford an attorney, contact your local Bar Association or legal aid society to see what low income assistance is available.

You are the only person who can decide the best route to take in your divorce. Make sure to gather all the information you will need beforehand and consult with the qualified professionals that are available to you. You will have to live with the decisions you make, your friends and your lawyer will not.

Here are 12 tips to help you with your divorce:

  1. Know the strength and weaknesses of your case. Consult with your lawyer to know where you stand on the divorce and division of assets and maintenance claims.
  2. Consider mediation as alternative to litigation. Discuss with your lawyer the options open to you for alternative dispute resolution. Be receptive and open minded to settlement negotiations.
  3. If married to children put their interests and welfare as top priority. You may divorce your spouse but you do not stop being a parent.
  4. Get a lawyer who is attentive and sensitive to your problems and offers sound and practical advice.
  5. Make rationale and not emotional decisions on your matrimonial disputes.
  6. Do not engage in petty and unnecessary squabbles with your spouse. It only ends in heartache and misery for you.
  7. Focus on the road to resolving disputes and not creating them.
  8. Make the divorce as seamless and painless for the children so that both of you can continue to be good parents. Focus on their needs instead. They are the good that came out of your marriage.
  9. No matter how dire the situation keep calm and focus. Eventually the matter will be resolved either through the court process or by settlement between the parties.
  10. Get family and friends to support you and relieve the pressure of the break up.
  11. Listen to your lawyer’s advice and have faith in the family justice system.
  12. Most of all the divorce is not the end of the road. It another twist in the road and a new beginning for you. Life will go on.